it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
