I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Randomize
