i think i have herpe
just one?
Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
