soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
lol hangovers are for mortals.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
