take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
