That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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