What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
pop tarts are not kleenex
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
