my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Watching her eat just hurts me
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
Randomize
