We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
when i woke up i was missing $380 from my bank account
damn...impressive bar tab
no i guess i bought a gasoline powered blender off ebay, i need a breathalyzer for my computer
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I am never drinking with the goths again.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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