Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
Randomize
