butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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