we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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