1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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