Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
There r osticjed everywhere
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
