when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Randomize
