question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I need a burrito and a hug.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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