i wish peter jackson would direct porn
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
he sent me a picture of his dick with a heart border around it
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Randomize
