Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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