marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Randomize
