My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I am available for nakedness
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
