The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
