thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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