Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
