Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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