Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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