so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Ew, dude I just walked in on my boss masturbating in the supply room at the restaurant. He didn't see me so I quickly shut the door and pretended like it didn't happen. And then literally five minutes later he came up to me and cupped my face with his hands and told me what a great employee I was. I got a promotion but I'm fucking scarred for life. I can't stop cringing.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
