i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
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