If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
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