I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
