maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
