fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
