I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Well. I went to a frat party where they mixed gin and Mountain Dew. My kingdom for some olives and vermouth.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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