I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
