How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
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