Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
