wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Randomize
