I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
Randomize
