he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
