i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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