Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
