You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
Come see our sink grown plant.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
It's sad the highlight of the night was you didn't electrocute yourself again.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Randomize
