At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Highlight of the day: realizing the man in the car next to mine was getting road head... at 2:45pm... nicely done sir, nicely done.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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