I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
Randomize
