So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Randomize
