so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
