this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
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