I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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