We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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