A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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