I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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