But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Randomize
