Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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