So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
