Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
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